读过就会发现,Etsuko基本上没有讲过自己的故事。她的所有回忆都是在第一次在日本怀孕期间跟Sachiko以及她的女儿的故事。故事越往后,我们就会越发现Etsuko和Sachiko命运的相似:都有和第一任丈夫生下的女儿,女儿都被认为行为古怪,第二任丈夫都是西方人,最后都带着第一个女儿去了别的国家。对Sachiko的回忆都是在梦里,不能说不真实,可能是Etsuko只是找了Sachiko和她相似的地方来回忆。回忆里,Sachiko总是对自己的女儿疏于管理,也常常伤害女儿的感情。但是Etsuko总是那个温婉和善的形象,周到又得体。“you will make a wonderful mother, Etsuko.”,回忆里的开拉面馆的老妇人说。
可是这一切,是不是Etsuko的赎罪呢?我们没有办法得知她以前究竟是一个怎样的人,是真的像回忆中的自己那么贤淑,还是跟Sachiko一样。唯一可以确定的,便是小说的最后,当Sachiko要带Mariko去美国的时候Mariko的挣扎。 Etsuko在树林里找到了Mariko,对Mariko说了一些不符合自己先前温婉态度的话(“You r not to speak like that” I said, angrily.)。at this point, Etsuko和Sachiko的影子,Mariko和Keiko的影子,终于重叠了。
另外,
我觉得日本的民族性真的很强。一开始在读这本书的时候,我以为Kazuo是长大后移民英国的。后来一查,发现他很小就在英国,是basically在那里长大的。 书里也有很多地方有着家乡日本遥远的回声。 比如Etsuko的独白里她说,something like: 我的丈夫研究了一辈子的日本,但是he never understands Japanese even for a moment. 总之,Kazuo的写作拿捏的很好,但我们永远不能把这篇作品,看做是一个英国人对日本的理解。
Sachiko, an arrogant, unloving and selfish woman. Etsuko, a considerate, warm-hearted and helpful. Somehow, the writer created a strange relation between them, it is intricate and complicated.
The atmosphere of this novel is sad, creepy and confusing. That’s why it’s so difficult for me to write something about it, especially using Freud’s theory.
I found Sachiko very annoying while reading the novel, and I am sure that’s how Etsuko feels about it, too. Or Sachiko would never be created. Projection. I think the existence of Sachiko is a projection from Etsuko. Just like every traditional Japanese woman, Etsuko couldn’t quit herself of the shackle of the moral anxiety. However, she couldn’t repress some of her evil thoughts. That’s why Sachiko appeared and became a center of that period of Etsuko’s life.
Sachiko always shrugs and laughs away everything, I think that’s isolation. Etsuko, as a warm-hearted woman, she has to care about everything related or not related. She is so sick and tired of it, that’s why Sachiko can always be so indifferent.
But when it comes to leaving Japan for America, Sachiko keeps asking Etsuko to feel free to ask her anything about it. Why is that? We have to look at Etsuko for the answer again. When Etsuko is planning to leave Japan for England, she must be extremely anxious about her future. She told herself to be calm and not to be worry about it. Guess what? She needs someone to talk to. Again, Sachiko wants to talk about her leaving so badly, but Etsuko, being her superego, thinks she should not show her worries about that.
I was considering Etsuko a normal person until I read that the noodle shop lady keeps telling her not to be upset or unhappy about her life. The first time that Etsuko was told not to be unhappy, I simply think it’s the noodle shop lady got her wrong. But as that repeated, I started feeling there is something weird about it, and later, Etsuko finally admitted while talking to Sachiko, I knew she is not as normal as I thought. I also think she might be in denial.
When I read the last chapter, my skin crawled. Etsuko is telling Nikki about that happy afternoon she was spending with Keiko, but that experience is with Mariko! As Freud said, no words are accident, I strongly believe that Sachiko and Mariko are imaginary.
And the last time that Etsuko talks to Mariko, she promised Mariko that if she doesn’t like the life abroad, they will come right back to Japan. She said “we”! U-hah, Freudian slip! I screamed it out in my mind.
In a word, Etsuko was projecting all the bad memories, events and thoughts on Sachiko to release her moral anxiety and neurotic anxiety. She was all alone and nobody can share her worries, or she can not share it with others. Unluckily, she couldn’t repress all her trauma, that’s why she was suffering from all these confusing memories.